Giving our very best,
something that Rabbi Google cannot provide
In the end of 1980’s the Rebbe spoke many times about asei lecha Rav- that everyone should have a personal Rav. The Rebbe spoke about this one Shabbos after another. He emphasized that it says, ‘make’, meaning to force yourself to have a Rav. Until this point Chassidim always went directly to the Rebbe for advice. In 1988, the Rebbe gave specific instructions about who to speak to depending on the question. If it had to do with health he advised to ask a medical doctor. For halachic issues, he said to ask a Rav. Even though the Rebbe spoke about making for yourself a Rav to ask your questions to, chassidim still continued to write to the Rebbe and he answered their questions. Nowadays, people write to the igros and get answers.
Even though the Rebbe continued to answer questions, he still wanted to promote the inyan of asei lecha rav because the Rebbe wanted each person to have a personal Rav and guide in life. When we have our own Rav and madrich, it can be difficult to actually fulfill what we are told to do. For this we have, “knei lecha chaver-aquire yourself a friend”. A friend encourages us to go to the Rav and seek the advice. A friend also helps us implement the advice the Rav has given.
These days, some people walk around without a Rav. They will ask the igros. If they find an answer then they follow. If they don’t see an answer then often they do nothing. But this is not how Chabad is built. Chabad is built on mashpiim. My mashpia, Rabbi Greenglass A”H, had answers from the Rebbe that instructed him on the proper way to work with bochurim. The Rebbe did not always give answers to questions. Often it was upon the mashpiim to guide the bochurim. Today, in our yeshivas, where is the relationship between a mashpia and a bochur? In some places, the ratio is 75 bochurim to 1 mashpia. There is not enough time even to get to know each bochur individually. What does the bochur do? He goes to older bochurim for advice and guidance. Although this is a wonderful thing, an 18 year old guiding a 16 year old is not enough. Parents rely on the system, but the system doesn’t always come through. Children at times fall through the cracks. Often our children need someone to speak do and they don’t feel comfortable being honest with the mashpia in their yeshiva. What can be done?
Rabbi Binyomin Klein once told me a story about a bochur who wrote to the Rebbe for permission to go to college. He wrote that his Rav had given him his permission. The Rebbe didn’t answer him. The Rebbe asked Rabbi Klein to find out who the Rav was that gave him permission. When the bochur came in for an answer, Rabbi Klein said that the Rebbe didn’t give an answer and suggested that if he writes who his Rav is, then maybe it would help to get an answer. The bachur agreed. Rabbi Klein asked for permission to read the letter and the bochur approved. It said that the Rav was a yungeman from the kollel. The Rebbe asked Rabbi Klein to ask the young Rav why he said this without letting him know that it was the Rebbe who was inquiring. Rabbi Klein told the yungerman that the Rebbe didn’t give an answer and if he said the reason for his decision then maybe it would help in receiving an answer. The Rav answered, “What should I have answered him? Would it help if I said no? Would it really stop him from going?”
A Rav is not a rubber stamp. A Rav needs to know that he needs to take into consideration the best interest of the individual asking. Before a Rav makes a decision he needs to listen with care to the person he is helping and only then consider his answer. When a Rav does this then the one asking will be open and will listen to the decision. In the old times when someone came to the Rav, the Rav looked into the person and life circumstance of the questioner. It wasn’t an email or a text message that is without personal contact.
Once I heard a bochur say; “Why should I go to the fabrengen? They will just repeat what they saw by the Rebbe. I can read it myself.” We don’t go to a fabrengen to hear the mashpia say what he heard. We go to hear what he felt from the atmosphere, the impact it had on him and the vort he took away from it. At a fabrengen chassidim speak out their inner impressions, they clarify them, they live it. That is a chassidishe fabrengen, it’s not just information. We internalize it – “emor v’amarta.”
Years ago in Los Angeles, I used to meet with the old Yidden in the park for Mivtzoyim. We used to call them the UN. This is because they would sit outside and they would speak all their philosophies about how the world should work. They would say, “If I were President Johnson then I would…” “This is what Israel should do….” etc.. They were busy taking care of the whole world. They were calling out as if they were responsible. People would disturb in shul in order to say their opinions. Now with the internet, it has gotten even more widespread. Where do we have time for such things? The world doesn’t need to hear everyone’s opinion as if they are the leader of the free world. We need to ask ourselves; “What is our achrayus?” It is to our homes and our local communities.
This week is parshas Bechukosai teileichu. The Rebbe explains that there are different types of letters. Written letters are ink on parchment, which are two different things that become connected. Carved letters, Chakika, means that they have been carved into stone and have become part of the stone itself. The theme of the parsha teaches that in order to be successful in ‘going’, teleichu, it needs to be in a way that we are not only connected to the Torah, but also that it is carved into us. It needs to be like the body and the soul, as one thing. This is connected to last week’s article about emor v’emarta. This comes through going over it until it penetrates.
Anyone who spent time by the Rebbe’s fabrengens was able to get fully into it. He experienced the Rebbe’s emunah in Hashem, in Torah and Mitzvos and other Yidden. It permeated and carved into us. We lived it and affected us to the level that we sensed that “this is what it is.” When we saw others who did not attend we felt they were missing out. This is the emes of bechukosai, engraving, l’hazir gedolim al haketanim.
The question we have today is how to best pass on this connection. The Rebbe demanded mashpiim, aseh lecha rav. We cannot just impart information. We need to listen to people, to evaluate and to connect with them. Then we need to find the right words to bring the Rebbe’s teachings into their lives and to guide them according to their circumstances. In the Rebbe’s letters to Rabbi Greenglass, the Rebbe spoke about this. The Rebbe demanded that mashpiim use their minds and hearts to guide, but not to demand beyond the level of their students. Still, we must keep the focus on the goal. Why does one need to have a mashpia when he can go to Rabbi Google and get any answer he needs? The answer is that the Rebbe’s teachings need to go through the mashpia, the person who lives it and connects with the circumstances of his student and helps him integrate it into his life.
Reb Hillel Paricher and a chosid named Reb Yaacov were both sent by the Tzemach Tzedek as his personal shadar to various communities. Usually before they went, the Tzemach Tzedek would say to them a maamer in private. They would take this maamer as the primary message that they would disseminate in the communities that they would visit. One time before a trip, Reb Yaacov told the Tzedek that he is ready go and he needs to hear the maamer. The Tzemach Tzedek said he already said the maamer to Reb Hillel and that he should have him say it to him. Rav Yaacov responded; “Yes, but he is a kli sheni – a secondary vessel.” He meant to say that it is not the same as hearing it directly from the Rebbe who is the primary source. The Tzemach Tzedek replied; “Yes Reb Hillel is a kli sheni but he is yad tzoledes bo.” He meant that Reb Hillel is hot and is therefore a good person to get the maamer from because with the heat it will penetrate. This is a message we need to take when being mashpia on others. We need to be yad tzoledes bo, and in this way the words we speak will have their proper affect and penetrate.