Reprinted from the "Chabad Chodesh"
Erev Yom Kippur
Friday, Tishrei 9, September 13
Kapporos
See Siddur, Men use a rooster and women use a hen; pregnant women use preferably a rooster and two hens. Give the value of the chicken to the poor. If you can't get a chicken, use money and say "Zeh Hakesef Yeilech L’tzedakah".
Some do Kapporos during Aseres Yimei Teshuvah.
During the Ten Days of Teshuvah we give Tzedakah liberally, on Erev Yom Kippur even more so.
At Shacharis we don’t say Mizmor Lisodah, Tachanun or Avinu Malkeinu. (Mizmor Lisodah is in place of the Korban Todah, which wasn’t brought Erev Yom Kippur.)
We ask friends for Lekach (honey cake), and eat it. One reason for this custom is that, were it decreed upon us, Chas Vishalom, to depend on the “gifts of flesh and blood”, we discharge our “obligation” with this.
. . . My father-in-law, the Rebbe told: 'The Baal Shem Tov would say that giving Lekach (honey cake) on Erev Yom Kippur is an ancient custom, and when he gave it he would say, I give you Lekach, and may HaShem give you a good year, and my father [the Rebbe RaShaB] would add, ‘a sweet year’… [Sichah, Erev Yom Kippur, 5711]
It’s a Mitzvah to eat and drink on Erev Yom Kippur as if for two days. It is forbidden to fast. We eat two full meals for which we wash and eat Challah dipped in honey. One meal is before Minchah; Seudah Hamafsekes is after. We eat Kreplach. We don’t eat eggs on Erev Yom Kippur.
It’s an obligation to go to the Mikveh. Go before Minchah, after the first meal. (Some go again after Seudah Hamafsekes before sundown.)
Before Mikveh we have the custom of Malkos: receiving thirty-nine symbolic “lashes” to remember the need for Teshuvah. Both the one giving and getting Malkos say the thirteen words of “VeHu Rachum” three times, for a total of thirty-nine.
Yom Kippur doesn’t atone for sins against a fellow man, unless we appease him. If we’ve sinned against others, even if only in words, we’re obliged to appease them. We must go personally to them. The injured party should forgive willingly and wholeheartedly.
Minchah
We wear Yom Tov clothes to Minchah. We give a lot of Tzedakah before Minchah. At the end of the Amidah, before “Elokai Nitzor” we say Viduy (see Siddur) in the silent Amidah, but not in the Repetition.
We don’t say Tachanun (or Avinu Malkeinu).
After Minchah, we eat the final meal before the fast. We eat only easily digestible food, such as boiled chicken or soup. We don’t eat or drink spicy or salty foods. Finish the meal while it’s still daytime.
Many refined people use only one hand to eat at their meals. On Erev Yom Kippur, they would eat with both hands, (as I saw by my father). [Erev Yom Kippur, 5745, Likutei Sichos Vol. 29, p. 319]
The previous Rebbe said, The first time I was obligated to fast on Yom Kippur, I ate the Seudah Hamafsekes (the final meal before the fast) with my father. He said I should have some soup with Challah. He told me to pour a second and third spoonful (or three servings of soup). The soup was without salt; I wanted to pour some into my soup and began to reach for the salt but held back. My father saw this. He said there are many reasons we eat without salt on Erev Yom Kippur and the simple reason is we shouldn’t be thirsty, because on Yom Kippur we must not only not eat, but we should not even want to eat or drink. [Sefer Hasichos, Motzei Yom Kippur, 5697]
If you finish quite early, and intend to eat or drink before the fast, make a declaration (or at least have in mind) before Birchas HaMazon, that you’re not yet beginning the fast.
Parents bless their children before going to Kol Nidrei.
At candle-lighting we say “Lihadlik Ner Shel Shabbos V’Shel Yom Hakippurim” and “Shehechiyanu”. Although the fast begins at sundown, women and girls who light candles start at the proper candle-lighting time.
We must add to Yom Kippur at its beginning and end: don’t delay candle-lighting or going to Mikveh.
Those saying Yizkor light a Yartzeit candle at home. If you plan to say Havdalah at home after Yom Kippur, light a 24-hour candle at home.
Every married man brings a 24-hour candle to Shul, to light before Yom Kippur.
It’s proper to leave a light on in the master bedroom.
We must honor Yom Kippur with Yom Tov clothes, a Yom Tov tablecloth and candles.
Yom Kippur
Friday - Shabbos, Tishrei 10, Sept. 13-14
The fast of Yom Kippur is (in effect) twenty-six hours. The number of hours corresponds to HaShem’s name (gematria twenty six). [Sefer Hasichos, 5705]
(Fasting) part of an hour is considered sufficient. Fasting over twenty-five full hours is adequate. [Likutei Sichos, Vol. 16, p. 522] (The normal schedule of Yom Kippur accomplishes this, since we begin fasting before sunset and continue until over an hour after candle lighting the next evening including Maariv).
Married men after the first year of marriage wear a Kittel. A mourner also wears one. Since it’s a garment for Davening, you should remove it before going into a bathroom.
Put on your Tallis and say its Brachah before sunset. We say Viduy privately before Kol Nidrei. We say nine chapters of Tehillim (115-123).
Three Sifrei Torah should be taken out if possible for Kol Nidre.
During Kol Nidre, the Rebbe would hold the first Sefer Torah.
During Kol Nidre, the Rebbe would wear the gartel of the Tzemach Tzedek.
After Kol Nidrei the Chazan and congregation say Shehechiyanu for Yom Kippur. Begin the Brachah with the Chazan and finish before him, to answer “Amen”. Women and girls, who said Shehechiyanu at candlelighting, don’t say it now.
Maariv begins with “Mizmor L’Dovid” and continues as any Kabolas Shabbos. (In the last stanza of “Licha Dodi” say “B’Rinah,” not “B’Simchah.”)
After Maariv we say the first four chapters of Tehillim (there’s a custom to say all of Sefer Tehillim).
We don’t say Tachanun or Viduy in Kriyas Shema before sleep. (Don’t forget to say “Baruch Shem” out loud). Say nine chapters of Tehillim (124-132) after Kriyas Shema before “Hamapil”.
Five principal restrictions apply on Yom Kippur:
1. Eating/Drinking:
All men and women (even pregnant and nursing) fast. A person who feels ill or requires medication should consult a Rav. Children under nine may not fast. Children nine and above, in good health, should be trained to fast a few hours beyond their regular eating time. Boys of twelve and girls of eleven in good health should fast the whole day. (Even children under nine should be trained to keep the other abstentions.)
2. Wearing shoes:
We may not wear shoes containing any leather or suede. (And thus, we won’t say the Brachah “Sheasah Li kol Tzorki”, the Brachah on shoes, in the morning.) We may wear leather clothes.
3. Washing:
We may not wash, even with cold water. In the morning, for Negel Vasser, and after using the bathroom, we wash our fingers until the knuckles. If there’s dirt on your hands you may wash it off.
4. Anointing:
We may not soak or anoint any part of the body in oil, lotion, perfume or cologne.
5. Family Relations:
Marital relations are forbidden. A couple should conduct themselves as they would during the Nidah time.
Yom Kippur Day
Shabbos, Tishrei 10, September 14
We wash Negel Vasser up to our knuckles. We don’t say the Brachah “Sheasah Li Kol Tzorki”. Don’t forget to say “Boruch Shem” out loud in the Kriyas Shema before Davening and in Korbanos.
After Kriyas HaTorah is Yizkor. Those whose both parents are living leave the Shul. Someone who is in the first year of mourning stay, but don’t say Yizkor. (The mother’s name is used.)
At Musaf we do Birchas Kohanim. Kohanim may have their hands washed to their wrists; a Levi whose custom is to wash his own hands before washing the Kohen may do so.
After Musaf, after the daily Tehillim portion, say Tehillim: 133-141.
Chabad custom is to have a break of at least forty-five minutes between Musaf and Minchah.
We leave the Aron Kodesh open all of Neilah. After Neilah we say Tehillim 142-150, completing Sefer Tehillim.
Motzei Yom Kippur
Motzei Shabbos, Tishrei 11, September 14
For Maariv we still wear our Tallis and Kittel and put on a hat (instead of a Tallis over our head). Add Atah Chonantanu in the Amidah. If you forget, don’t repeat the Amidah, but say “Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lichol”. Women who don’t Daven Maariv must say this before they can do any work.
Before Havdalah, wash both hands three times (Negel Vasser) without a Brachah. (Even Kohanim who washed for Birchas Kohanim). Wash your face and rinse your mouth.
At Havdalah we use spices, because it’s Motzei Shabbos. The flame for Havdalah must have been lit before Yom Kippur (and not used for any other purpose). We may light a candle from a candle lit Erev Yom Kippur. Since it’s Motzei Shabbos we say “VaYitein Lecha.”
After Maariv and Havdalah, Kiddush Levana is said.
On Motzei Yom Kippur we wish each other “Gut Yom Tov”. We eat and rejoice. It’s a partial festival. We dip Challah in honey.
We begin building, or at least discuss building the Sukkah.
The day after Yom Kippur is called “B'shem HaShem”. We rise early to go to Shul.
Shlomoh Hamelech dedicated the Beis Hamikdash between Yom Kippur and Sukkos. These are days of rejoicing; we don’t fast, even on a Yartzeit, or say Tachanun.