The Struggle of a Chosid
By Rabbi Shimon Raichik
There is a known teaching of the Baal Shem Tov (Based on Sh'mot 23:5) that is found in the Sefer HaYom Yom for the day of the 28th of Shevat:
“"When you see a chamor, a donkey"- when you carefully examine your chomer ("materiality"), your body, you will see...
..."your enemy" - meaning, that your chomer hates your Divine soul that longs for G‑dliness and the spiritual, and furthermore, you will see that it is...
..."lying under its burden" placed upon it - (the body) by G‑d, namely, that it should become refined through Torah and mitzvot; but the body is lazy to fulfill them. It may then occur to you that...
..."you will refrain from helping it" - to enable it to fulfill its mission, and instead you will follow the path of mortification of the flesh to break down the body's crass materiality. However, not in this approach will the light of Torah reside. Rather...
..."you must aid it" - purify the body, refine it, but do not break it by mortification.”
There was indeed a method of subordinating the body through afflicting it with ascetic practices, but the Baal Shem Tov rejected this path. He saw the body not as an obstacle to the spirit, something intrinsically evil and un-G-dly, but as a potential vehicle for the spiritual, a means for the soul to attain heights otherwise inaccessible. The "enemy" is to be transformed into an ally, an instrument. In great measure the Mitzvot employ gross physical matter to fulfill G‑d's will, e.g. leather for Tefillin and wool for Tzitzit, etc.
Although in general one is not supposed to afflict the body because the body has been placed with us in safekeeping by Hashem. Therefore, just as the laws of a pikadon, a deposit in the Torah requires us to take the best possible care for any object placed in our care so too the body which has been placed in our care would normally prohibited from fasting because fasting an affliction to the body. Nevertheless fasting is allowed according to Halacha because fasting helps with the process of teshuva and refinement of the neshama. The Alter Rebbe also explains this at length by in Igeres HaTeshuva where the Rebbe describes the benefit of fasting in completing the process of teshuva and refining the neshama to the point that it’s as if he never sinned.
The novelty of this teaching of the Baal Shem Tov in our times is that we are not really missing out on fasting due to our weaknesses, since fasting is no longer the proper path of teshuva and refinement anyway. Instead we redeem our fasts with tzedakah, as the Alter Rebbe says in the third chapter of Igeres HaTeshuva. We do not feel guilty because this weakness is the situation that Hashem placed upon us in these generations and therefore shows us that fasting is not our way.
This all sounds so lofty. Where do we find people in this day and age who want to fast and thanks to this HaYom Yom are helped and hold back from afflicting their bodies? And this year it hit me. I knew just such a person right here in LA and it was none other than my Father O.B.M. Those who knew him knew that he barely ate because his daily schedule didn’t include much time for food. After going to the mikveh, learning chassidus, davening, having a shiur and listening and helping the people that would speak with him about their personal needs and problems he would usually never get back home until well into the afternoon. People that grew up here in Los Angeles remember as children seeing my father davening by himself late in the day in shul. It was only when he got back home that he first had his first taste of food.
In letters the Rebbe would encourage my father to eat. The Rebbe quoted the Alter Rebbe from Igeres HaTeshuva (mentioned above) about the benefits of fasting in completing the process of teshuva but later says that due to our weaknesses we are unable to fast and instead we redeem our fasts with tzedakah. Therefore he must act this way and not fast.
Another time when my father and mother were in New York he told my mother that when was walking in 770 the Rebbe was there. The Rebbe began speaking to him in public. The Rebbe once saw my father and told him that he didn’t look well and asked him why he was fasting. The Rebbe told him that it’s important for him to eat. He then said that my mother had to come in for yechidus. She called Rabbi Hadakov who confirmed that the Rebbe was expecting her. When she went in the Rebbe asked her to see to it that her husband eats, and that he should eat before davening.
My mother prepared mezonos rolls which he would take to shul. After mikva he would sit down with tea and the mezonos with kabbolas ohl. It was obvious from the way he ate that he had no interest in the food itself. His only interest was to dutifully fulfill the Rebbe’s directive.
After my father’s passing I found a pidyon that he wrote asking for the Rebbe to daven for him if he ever did anything wrong. He went further to ask for help so that the body should not disturb or block, or in any way control his neshama. This was his struggle. No one is perfect; everyone has struggles. He was bothered that the body could disturb the neshama and get in the way of what it is here to accomplish.
He lived in Los Angeles not the Lubavitch of 100 years ago. He had his feet on the ground and was practical. He understood people and how businesses are run. He would help Shluchim fill out applications and forms to apply for bank loans. He would then tell them what to say to the banks in very practical terms.
He lived in Los Angeles but he never waivered in his service of Hashem. His example gives us strength and inspiration.
This year is a year of Hakel a year of unity and community gatherings. Hakel also represents the unity within each person. Through our service of Hashem we bring together and unify our spiritual and physical world, our hearts and our minds, our thoughts speech and actions. We unify them though our singular focus on serving Hashem with our body and soul working together in harmony to bring Moshiach Now!