Building Constant and Everlasting Bonds:
Living with a sense of urgency
and focus upon our children's best interest;
a good Jewish education.
By Rabbi Shimon Raichik
This week we celebrated Yud Beis and Yud Gimmel Tammuz which commemorates the arrest and liberation of the previous Rebbe. The main reason for his arrest was his involvement in Jewish education, supporting underground Yeshivas throughout the Soviet Union. When the Rebbe was liberated one of the great miracles was that the very same men that arrested him were the ones who were forced to free him.
The Jewish communists knew that they could never be successful if the Rebbe continued with his work on behalf of Jewish education.
Baruch HaShem that we aren't in that predicament today. Nevertheless we do have challenges of our own. The Rebbe wants that every Jewish child in the world should have a proper Jewish education. The Rebbe's opinion is that it's a matter of our survival; its a matter of pikuach nefesh. The Rebbe once wrote in a letter that a debt can be paid off but we don't know know when we can make up for the loss of Jewish education. Once the opportunity is lost we don't know when it will come again.
In an article a long time ago we wrote about how the Rebbe told my father to check up on his son, my brother Abba who was studying at the Yeshiva in Montreal at that time. The Rebbe was involved in his upbringing and in his education. A year later when he was in the Yeshiva of Newark, the Rebbe reminded my father to go again and see him. From this we see the Rebbe's concern and desire for my father's involvement in the education of children. On his trip to Newark my father told Rabbi Herson that he wasn't planning on leaving Newark until Abba's educational needs were fully settled. That year Rabbi Meilich Tzweibel spent much time one on one learning with Abba. The Rebbe told my father "Over there (meaning Newark) are our good friends" (that can help). The Rebbe used the word "our" because the Rebbe was part of it. When Rabbi Tzweibel heard this comment he took Abba under his guidance. From this story we learn about the tremendous effort required to take care of the education of each and every one of our children both male and female throughout their lives. From this story we also learn what an essential and irreplaceable roll a parent plays in every child's upbringing. There is no such concept as "out of sight out of mind" rather a sustained involvement together with teachers, educators and administrators is just what our children need.
Even later when our children grow up and go out on shlichus in various places around the world underneath the operation of various shluchim our involvement is essential to their success. Once again there is no concept of "out of sight out of mind". Where they are, what their influences are, who their roommate is, and how they spend their day are questions that we need answers to, even at this stage of life.
Just sitting together, talking over the phone, consulting with their educators and visiting them on a regular basis creates the connection they need to get through things. Sometimes if they're suffering they won't tell us because they don't feel comfortable. If we have a good relationship our chances are much better that they will allow us to help.
There used to be a time when we could send our children away to Yeshiva check on them from time to time and things would work out. Those days are over. Aside from doing all that we can we need to say extra Tehillim give extra Tzedaka and hope that it will work out. And then we need to do so much more. It's challenging because the influences are coming from 360° from every corner of the environment as well as from within.
Hopefully our children don't have unrestricted devices with which to roam wherever they like on the Internet. If for some reason our children do have devices and we aren't monitoring them, then we are engaging in child-abuse. I know that it's hard not to throw our hands up and just give up because they'll get these things anyway and it's a losing battle. If we try there's a possibility that it could be different. Nowadays there are parental control apps that allow us to monitor everything our children do on their smart phones. Just the fact alone that we are so concerned and share those concerns with our children and act upon them has a tremendous impact.
The truth is we will never be able to turn back the clock on technology. The Rebbe has encouraged us to use technology to its utmost in the service of Hashem. Although the invasive nature of technology has penetrated into the inner lives of our children in ways that we would have never imagined, nevertheless we need to learn to harness this as an opportunity for growth. Just as social media and the Internet are with our children and involved intimately on a moment to moment basis, we need to be involved even more. By building stronger bonds of love and kindness between ourselves and our children we as parents have the solution that will give our children the inspiration to choose to harness these technologies for the good, for the sake of others and for spreading the Torah and mitzvos. Although the best thing is they don't have these devices so that they can live without distraction once it's already here we can use it as an opportunity for growth. Just as the previous Rebbe's detractors later were the very ones that freed him, hopefully with Hashem's help and our efforts technologies will eventually enable us to have maximum connection to our children and impact the spreading the Torah and mitzvos to the world.
Just as it was in the times of the previous Rebbe, nothing stopped or got in the way of the Rebbe's efforts to fight for Jewish education so too in our days we are involved in hand to hand combat to stay the influence of our day and to persevere and be victorious in the field of Jewish education. With Hashem's help, in the zechus if our Rabbeim we will be successful. From the geula of Yud Beis Yud Gimmel Tammuz we will march forward with our children to greet Moshiach!
A Good Shabbos