Hearing the Call of the Neshama during Elul
By Rabbi Shimon Raichik
During the month of Elul we make a cheshbon hanefesh of what we have accomplished over the last year in preparation for Rosh Hashana.
Rosh Hashanah is the day we coronate Hashem as King over ourselves and over the entire world. What is most important on this day is how we joyfully accept the yolk of Hashem’s Kingship and our readiness to serve Him. On Rosh Hashanah we realize the awesome opportunity we have been afforded to become partners with Hashem in the work of creation. Since an essential aspect of the service Hashem on Rosh Hashanah is accepting the yolk of Hashem’s kingship with joy, the most important accounting we can make in Elul is how well we have done in accepting Hashem’s sovereignty through learning the Torah and fulfilling mitzvos. Based on our best assessments we do teshuva and prepare for an even brighter and better connection in the coming year.
To take the time for our life by taking stock in Elul is crucial. Most people cannot feel and cannot relate to what the neshama goes through without this accounting. In a maamar (Entitled “Eisha Achas”(Maamarei Admor HaZakein HaKatzarim page 136)) the Alter Rebbe explains that our neshama (referred to in the maamar as “Eisha achas, a woman) is calling out to Hashem (referred to in the maamar as Elisha, E-li Shaa, Hashem turned to me).
The neshama is saying: When I was in Gan Eden I had a burning fire of love and fear (referred to in the maamar as the woman’s children) of You Hashem. Now however, once my soul has been invested into my body I am in the position that not only I don't have that love or fear but my animal soul (in the maamar the animal soul is referred to as the debt collector) is drawning me into diverting my love and fear into worldly pursuits (in the maamar the debt collector wants to take the woman’s children into his slavery).
Hashem asks the neshama what it has that hasn't been contaminated by worldly pursuits and worldly perspectives. The neshama answers it has nothing except for one cruise of oil which represents the pure essence of the soul. The love and the fear have vanished and all that remains that is uncontaminated is the soul’s pure essence. Hashem tells the neshama to gather empty vessels. These empty vessels represent mitzvos and good deeds, maasim tovim. In other words, Hashem is telling the neshama that even though it has no feeling of love and fear it should continue unabated doing mitzvos and maasim tovim. At some point when the neshama will once again feel connected to the pure oil, the pure essence, the feelings of love and fear of Hashem will return and pour over all of the mitzvos and maasim tovim that were accomplished in the interim, and then they all will be elevated.
This maamar was said to someone during a yechidus.
What lesson does this teach us during Elul? It teaches us that Elul is a time to get in touch with our neshama through davening, a time that we should do all we can to arouse our love and fear of Hashem. In the bracha before the Shema it says:
“Our Father, the merciful Father, the merciful One - have mercy upon us,
Hashem! You know the pain my neshama feels from not feeling love and fear of You:
“Put into our hearts to understand and to comprehend and to listen and to study and to teach and to keep and to do and to preserve all of the words of the study of Your Torah with love.”
The neshama calls out: My Father, I’m davening...
“Enlighten our eyes in Your Torah, and make our hearts cling to Your commandments, and unite our hearts to love and fear Your name; and may we never be embarrassed ever. Since we have trusted in Your great and awesome holy Name, let us rejoice and be gladdened by Your salvation.”
This is our request.
If our Elul is different, then our Rosh Hashana and our Yom Kippur is different. It all begins with learning chassidus, davening and taking stock during Elul and returning to our core.
To be continued..
A Good Shabbos